(Originally posted April 15, 2011)
In the quest for a healthier you (and me, so I can fit into my 30th High School Reunion outfit!), its time for PANTRY PURGE!
Dump the Doritos!
Flush the Fritos!
Obliterate the Oreos!
Yes, you heard right! It’s time we all embrace our inner Vegan! I must confess that it wasn’t too many years ago that my idea of a Vegan included distributing pamphlets in major airports while wearing unattractive sandals and a tie-dyed caftan rumored to be worn by Mrs. Roper on Three’s Company. Why, even Oprah’s staff at Harpo Studios are testing the waters in the Vegan Pool!
Now, before friends from Sea to Shining Piggly Wiggly place their Tennis Ball can of Pringles in a death clutch or search for the closest defibrillator, let me assuage their collective fears once and for all: No, he who can eat a platter full of Fried Green Tomatoes in one sitting, or when dining at Lucky’s order his Chicken Fried Steak with gravy on the steak AND on the side, Vegan is just a little too daring for THIS Son of the South!
While I may not be composting my bacon grease or cultivating organic whatnots in my bathtub, I have been introduced to a most wondrous line of Vegan products that are just darn tasty, and I’m not making that up! One of the coolest of cool Mom’s from my days at The Lamplighter School has developed a line of snacks and other food products that are just going gangbusters!!
No, I did not just have an impure thought while typing, and yell out the Virgin Mother’s name in search of penance.
Hail Merry! is the name of the healthy snack line developed by Susan O’Brien, the aforementioned coolest of cool. When Susan’s middle son was working on perfecting his stand-up comedian routine in my Kindergarten class, Susan was working on perfecting Vegan to just that–Perfect! All in the name of research– as Susan needed more opinions ‘Yea’ or ‘Nay’ on the road to royal readiness, I became an unofficial taste-tester!! My, oh MY…were those delectable mint chocolate tarts ever GOOD!! (Yes, they were free, but that did not influence my opinions…usually…)
Yes, Susan O’Brien has expanded not only my culinary vocabulary, she has also lessened the chances of my glowing in the dark during my golden years. Having squandered my snack time in early days with such shallow activities as comparing and contrasting which side of the Oreo cookie would have the most frosting when pulled apart, and clogging my innards with all manner of Refined Sugars, Heated Oils, and Gluten, when I had no frickin’ CLUE that Gluten even existed, I now know better… I will, as Merry says, “Get Glowing!” Soon to bask in my inner glow from newfound Vegan luv instead of an accidental 3-Mile-Island overdose of Ding-Dongs, Twinkies and Ho-Ho’s!
Here’s a challenge for you…if you’ve felt left out in recent years from not jumping on a pop-cultural bandwagon–donning a Meat dress, a la Lady Gaga for your next fete on the town, or buying into the most tragic fashion trend of all time (in my opinion), white framed sunglasses, make THIS your lasting mark on your Community at large: Harass your neighborhood grocers and supermarket managers to stock Hail Merry! snacks in their store!
Not only will Susan love you for life and possibly even friend you on Facebook if asked nicely, I will figure out some way to thank you personally for your efforts in paying forward the gift of Vegan luv… so GET GLOWING! Gift and prize selection is currently underway for those selfless souls seeking to do their part to deliver the huddled masses yearning to be free of Gluten and the telltale afterglow of Heated Oils! So spread the word, ye ‘Friends of Merry!’ Be the one that gives your neighborhood grocery manager the Hail Merry heads up! Facebook friends with a penchant for thoughtful gift giving must be informed–Hail Merry is the answer to prayer! Think of this like being the one to bring the most visitors to Vacation Bible School–except this time, instead of the King James Version, you might nab a handwritten Thank-You from me, thoughtfully composed and inscribed with organic, gluten-free ink on planet-friendly stationery!
So, as my duty to those I love, I’m sending your way the Hail Merry! website info so that you may try something bold and new this year! GO RAW! GO VEGAN! GO GLUTEN-FREE! Or at least get hooked on Susan’s uber-healthy Hail Merry snacks!